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I once dated a pro boxer, hands down, the strongest man from my dating history. Yet, this lad never laid a finger on me. I figured he was so fully aware that he could crush me in minutes if not seconds that he exercised his caution to the fullest even when he fumed in anger, even when I broke up abruptly, without any real reason. 

I recently got to know about Ms. Quin Woodward Pu and her brutal takedown on a guy she had dated for approximately 20 hours, now I do not know what is the back story of this and that.

But I realize this. 

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Being a writer of sorts myself, I understand that I have a strong control on my verbiage. Which means I can build you up and tear you down with my words, and while my boxer ex was often cautioned by his trainers to never exert his force on his woman, or anybody for that matter outside the ring; you see my mentors who were busy brushing up my APA, my MLA and my interviewing skills, they forgot to mention it to me that when I use my words, I must too use them with caution in my personal relationships. They told me you represent the journalism profession 24/7, conduct yourself thus, which meant, never pledge political alliance infront of people you don’t know much, don’t pledge any kind of alliance anywhere, never wear clothings with logos etc. In essence, they told us, never stop being a writer. And we never did, do.

Twas so invariably ingrained in us that indeed it is not intuitive for us to separate our individual self from being the writer, as for me the difference between me and me being a writer is a null set. But I still have to understand the effect of my words on other less versed or not as verbally creative humans. I have to assume the responsibility for my words, and the hurt they can invariably create.

As a writer I love the sound of my words. I love to express myself in them, I love the sound of my voice when I repeat my crafted story or when I declare my love to someone so flowerly. But as a writer, (yes, after some errors) I also realize the power and negative effect of my words post a break-up. That just because I have an inherent power which doesn’t really seem threatening in the traditional sense, like boxing etc, it does not mean that it is not as fatal.

Someone said the pen is mightier than the sword, needless to say writers must also understand that the people they fall in love with, and later out of love with should be protected from their sometimes very brutal words. We are a passionate bunch. If you are in love with a writer, or involved with one, understand this person will invariably write about you at one time or the other, don’t take it with the greatest of malice or the greatest of joy. Take it with a grain of salt. As a writer I can too be very creative in my insults. And sometimes go overboard even when it is not much required. What they failed to let us know in our creative writing classes, although not too intuitive should be a lesson learnt by ourselves.

And I hope all writers realize this. We won’t get jailed for verbally putting someone down, as someone who violently beats someone down will. But verbal abuse is also abuse. It can also tear up people to their core. And shred their souls. Let’s just face it, why leave scars on someone’s soul, a soul maybe once you even hoped to love, or actually did love. 

Besides, just calm down and let Karma finish it/god take care of it.

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I have friends who are starting new businesses, portfolios and even movies. They all have varied interests, and they all come from different backgrounds. Yet, most of them have one thing in common, they all want me to like their pages on facebook. And I know, I am not the only one they pursue. There are plenty they chase too.

And I mean really?

Not just their pages, but pages of people who are their relatives by marriage! 

Friend: Hey are u still outta FB?

Me: yup, why?

Friend: wanted u to like a page.. my bro in law is making a movie 😛 but any way

Me: Ahan

Although I end at “ahan” what I really really mean is, pretty please don’t do this to me. Yes, I know my one like doesn’t make or break you. But I really maybe don’t like it. Heck I don’t even know what your soon to be very lucky brother-in-law is about to make in the name of a movie. And what do I say? maybe I am a very conceited cinephile? Or atleast let me watch it first to like it and recommend it later?

Then come the party promoters. Who want you to invite everyone on your list to the ladies wednesday nights. No thank-you! The music makers. No I do not understand your shred! I really can’t even tell good from better, or your best work from your worst tracks. And you want me to follow you around and get mindless group updates?-that I never actually check. Not only that, first you make me like your page, and then ask me my opinion on something I honestly have no clue about. 

Same goes for some girl-friends, some too shameful to ask for likes on their pictures! “Hey, can you like my profile picture on facebook?”

Really? No, seriously. Really?

How can you stoop that low?
Like.. like.. no man!
Now, when you don’t like the aforesaid content requested by all these people above, not only do you feel guilty and a half-assed “friend”, you actually feel like an asshole.

If you checked the history of my facebook likes, I am also guilty of liking one too many wedding pictures and baby pictures, as a way of saying “congratulations” when in all honesty, knowing atleast one of the two people getting married, I am aware it is an absolutely ridiculous idea. But I will like it. Sometimes I will like a friend’s couple’s picture even when the relationship is only going in one direction, and thats down south. Yes, yes, just to make their girlfriends happy. 

The worst of all of this is the RIP Grandma statuses, with some 187 likes? I don’t know what to do when situations like that arises. Is this a dark popularity contest? I mean how morbid is this? Whose dead grandma got the most likes and comments? I don’t even know how to react to those, but send in a personal message to the one who made the status offering support and condolences ie if I know them like that. Alrite, I understand facebook like any other social media is often used to inform and update people in one go. But I do not understand the like phenomena.

I am guilty and charged. I am guilty of liking the FB pages of the books written by professors I never read, but who are just handsome unattainable men. I am guilty of liking kids I honestly don’t find cute, but I know their parents do, like all parents do. Or even wedding pictures that are guaranteed to fall apart within years if not months. No, I don’t wish them bad. Couple’s pictures that are just liked to calm down edgy jealous girlfriends. Yes I do this and more.
But what I do more than anything else these days is, stay away from Facebook. 

Because I figured, the best way to not lie is not be around a like beggar. 

 

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When I first joined Facebook, we were required the .edu email addresses for verifications and it was an invite only ordeal, Facebook in essence was only open to students of recognized American Universities. I have no qualms in letting other college kids on it-if anything it only opens up a wider platform for better engagements, but a real problem arose when a 13 year old cousin and a 63 year old grandpa also made it to Facebook. The initial purpose of connecting college students was lost, atleast from a user’s point of view. Yet, from an organization’s point of view, this was indeed splendid, and a whole new marketing platform to be exploited and used, constant advertisements thrown at our faces on the newsfeed and what not. Then came Twitter, the 140 charactered wonder. Easy to keep tabs on news, artist tours, industry pundits and the few friends you actually wanted updates from. 

Although, these social medias have aided in some serious causes and changed the face of journalism, and thats a post for another day.

All this was doing something bad for me. You see when I go on twitter and tweet, or post on Facebook, the people who had access to it formed an opinion about me. Some of them even memorized what I had said on a particular day! Yes, please do hold my corny and witty statuses that don’t mean shit, against me while I hold my drinks and dodge the camera for a yet another picture that will find its way on Instagram, Facebook or some social media.

It was as if they knew me before they tried to get to know me.They thought by going thru my pictures they had a fair idea of my life, so I deleted those, like I swear on god I was five pictures to one Facebook profile. Yet, then I figured I was still judged on the kind of things I shared. In essence, these people who were on my Facebook, or somehow accessed it could, atleast in their minds reasonably judge who I was, and what kind of belief system I held. This has both good and bad to it. While we have made it okay to google prospective employees and dates. Are we really missing the point of it all?

It really hit the ball recently, when on a date this dude just seemed so perfect! Like right on point! How can anybody be this right on point? I love the color blue, I believe in feminism, I want to travel, I like girls with curly hair, oh I am writing a book that is across three blood lines on the dons of (someplace he said that I don’t remember) bingo bingo and bingo. You stalked my twitter feed! Its one thing to say that I looked at your picture where you wore your hair naturally and I kind of like it, and its another thing to read my whole twitter feed to try and figure out the kind of person I am! 

Well then why don’t you just create and date an online avatar of me?

Not just that, I have had a few girls “unfollow” me on Twitter because they thought that the tweet I made about “Shitty fifty shades of grey and twilight” was right at them! 

It wasn’t even going there. Infact they weren’t even on my mind, I just find the literature flat and uninspiring. Yes, it sells. But I can hold an opinion of not being a fan, if anyone should take it personally it should be E.L.James and Miss Meyer! and I doubt they give a crap. 

Or in another instance where a new 24 year old mother on my Facebook took a comment I made for more than its face value, that she had her husband retort at me. Just because I had shared Time’s magazine’sThe Childfree Life: When Having It All Means Not Having Children on my Facebook. It was by no means an attack on her lifestyle, yet something I posted that resonated with my own personal beliefs as of now. A few years back, I wanted the husband and a house and two.5 kids too, and maybe a few years from now I will be back at that. But my whole point of sharing the post was merely to share the idea, that a woman or a couple doesn’t necessarily have to have kids to be truly fulfilled.

And therefore as a stranger give it welcome.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

There are other ways to exist, other ways to live the same life. 

Yet the wise one says, don’t get too personal on a personal page. 

I also figured, guys who meet me and who had “researched” me held opinions about me even before meeting me, I do not frown upon the practice of googling someone, given that it has helped me dodge some serious fuktards in the past, but I atleast give them one reasonably tabula rasa date before I googled them ad hoc. 

You cannot judge nobody on what they tweeted two years ago, or what they posted five years ago. Get off. Seriously. 

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Wolllllaaaa ….iPhone 4G is gonna hit the stacks soon. And so far the reviews are rolling and they are awesome.

Welcome yourself to the 4G era, treat yourself with the perfect phone- an iPhone! Apple co. has once again proved that not only are they going to be ahead of the game, but they will stand by their promise of delivering magic. I remember when I first layed my hands on a Mac Book Pro, I knew then, that I will never go back. My iPod changed the way I listened to music, with itunes I no longer had to walk to the music store and browse thru tedious lanes and enquire about the latest from the store manager. Apple changes everything. With the introduction of iPhone a few years back, although intrigued by its numerous apps and all I saw it as a recurring expense. I clearly remember paying a 400 dollar bill!

lust it

But iPhone 4G is the best there is, I practically cannot find a fault here! and for those few who are cribbing about its shape, well back off! it looks sturdy and only weighs 4.4 ounces (0.275 pounds) this 4.5 inch beauty with OLED screen is gonna set other cell phones ablaze.

iPhone’s video calling(popularly known as FaceTime Video calling) is spectacular and something that a lot of us have been lusting after… remember the CISCO add?. The graphics on this phone are supposed to amazing with a 960-640 retina display which means we have more pixels on the same screen, almost 4 times the pixels before!!! iPhone 4G makes it easy to film, edit and distribute videos all with one device; with the two way camera, it is bringing to the table that which we have never had before. Its going to change we call, the way we communicate, the way we shoot our videos. Finally, brilliance has been delivered 😀

You know its more than a phone, when its an iPhone!

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i’ll Pad and Pro

Not to trash it, and I must confess I am more than psyched for this product, specially when the spectacular 3G hits the shelf end of this month.

BUT, I think Apple is just trying to create demand and levying its way for another product, ofcourse its going to have a fan following, its Apple! but really? Or is it like anal sex? Everyone is doing it because its among the latest fad.

When I first heard about iPad I wondered if it was made to replace my pro? was it an inflated iPhone? an expensive Kindle? or maybe its somewhere in between. But wait a minute, wasn’t Mac Book Air an answer there.  In all honesty I can’t see the point, or is Apple finally coming around the tablet idea I have been hoping for.

Waiting for a little more integration,

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