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Archive for the ‘Spirituality’ Category

Have you ever sat in solitude, and thought about your beliefs?

I was born to religious people, they pray every morning for an hour, they are even influential characters at the place of their worship and community. And although they called me for the morning prayers and I obeyed, they never forced their faith on me.

In college I ranged from an atheist to an agnostic, and now here I am a believer at last.

A full circle. But i had to be others before being a believer.

But what do I ask still? Does it even know I exist? Like what a fly is to us, is that how I am to it. And I say ‘it’, because to me god can’t have a gender, to me it is a power, a power that bring an order to this chaos. And I think although a lot of things happen in randomness, and we are yet fools of randomness a lot of this randomness has set logical patterns. That sometimes we had to be at certain places, or life would have been different. Kind of like Happenstance. 

But are my worries, and my dreams of any significance to God? because in the grand scheme of things I am just a dust particle, getting to live life. I cannot say my existence doesn’t matter, but the lack of me wouldn’t have made much of a difference as well.
And here my cinephilia shall emerge again as I will say kind of like Its a Wonderful Life, a lack of my existence would have changed a lot. 

Then the theory goes that god lies within me, or it is watching over me, it is above and beyond me. But of all of this, all I really want to know is whether it even knows me?

Is it aware of my existence? is the pattern of my happiness and sadness just another blueprint from it’s grand book applied to me randomly. Are the naddis really right? is there a leaf somewhere that says it all about me? And that there is nothing really original to my existence.

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