Archive for August, 2011

A few years ago, still in my idealistic phase, I was thinking out loud when I stated, “I believe even a single celled organism has a soul, its a life. Hence the zygote, the fetus has a soul” Although I never meant to hurt anyone’s sentiment, but my aunt who had gone thru several abortions (spontaneous and one induced) took it personally, and said “so does that make me a killer of my own children”. I dismissed her as an emotional woman. But later, thru a very close friend, I truly understood the psyche of the one who spreads her legs on the abortion table.

She said, “I didn’t know who to feel the most sorry for, myself, because I know I goofed up-and MOST importantly I was the one making the decision, pulling the plug, and yes it boils down to…taking a life; or get all pro-life and feel bad for the unborn baby, and think how it has a soul too, or how it has a right to life as much as I do and I am no different than the convicts convicted for murder; or do I feel bad for the biological father, because from a certain view, he is yet even more helpless; or do I take a societal stance and try and fear the repercussions this might have on the honor of my family?”

She requested me, to listen to her and bury down her secret deep within. Because she couldn’t stand the judgments of everyday walking people, and to answer and explain and be a constant object of curosity. Maybe by aborting, she took a life, but atleast she had a realistic approach towards her life and situation, being mere 21 and having a child did not make the least bit of sense to her; socially, from her career’s point of view and the child’s point of view. Yes, in that order. That was indeed her mini Maslow. But she still wonders whether she was plain selfish.

Yet she added, it might take her some time to remove or get conditioned to the burden on her conscience, and be able to sleep soundly. She did a right, right when it was called for, ignoring the bigger righteous right. Or maybe there’s a difference between being right and being righteous?

The later, in my opinion is more society specific while the former is more from an individual stance.

This recent event in a close friend’s life and the NY Times Magazine’s cover story “Unnatural Selection” coaxed me to reflect on my own ideals on the age old tabooed and much debated subject: Abortion, the secrecy, the moral ethical religious dilemma. Is it life? Does it have rights? And on the abortion table who does one feel the most sorry for? Is this selfishness?

A lot of people who are for abortion argue, that it is not life until it reaches a certain level. The zen, catholic and other religious groups counter-argue it is life, the moment its conceived. Well first for the people who say that it is fully not a life until it reaches a certain level, may I be bold enough to point out that if one is reducing the value of life with regards to the development of the senses, does that mean a handicapped child holds less value than a healthy one? Darwin, would say yes and why not, he advocated the survival of the fittest. But that was back in the times when didn’t have the means to provide for our “weaker” fellows.

And as for the other “religious” groups that advocate that it is life the moment its conceived, does that mean contraceptives is an equal evil twin? And okay I will take in abstinence from pre-marital sex, yet is this later group expecting a sex-less marriage where sex is just a means to create new life? Because the moment we hit puberty, and after sexual desires are so inherent in us, as much as the hunger for food or thirst for water, it is the basic human nature. And if this group argues that “abortion is against the nature” isn’t abstaining from the need for sex, also against the nature?

People have argued left right and center, being pro-life, pro-life, the famous Roe. vs Wade. You name it, we as a society, as religion, law, as families on dinner tables.. have examined it. Partial Abortion, Induced abortions, Spontaneous abortion (miscarriage). Countless women have gone thru this, and I would be wrong to say if I just said only women have gone thru this, as it is an equal dilemma for some men too.

Yet, a stance on all of this doesn’t seem fair..right? who is to decide? But I personally think its easier said than done, and that people who don’t know the first thing about abortion are usually the ones with the high pedestal. Who will make you an object of curiosity and sting you with judgments. They rightly said, a critique is nothing but a failed artist, or one too bashful to try. Yet among them are also the first ones to say “abort it” in pure coldness. In conclusion, all I would say there’s a difference between being right and being righteous and that we do live in a society, but for most part we live with ourselves. They are gonna judge anyway


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