Archive for June, 2011


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For sometime, I forgot I was using a psyedoneum and I could really say it like it is.. so here it is, older generations from my culture are almost always accused of racism, and I am not denying that. But neither am I justifying it. They especially get their defenses up when their child wants to get married inter-racially. I will start of by what is a typical Indian parent’s mentality like. This is just a rough generalization.

Reasons they are Racist in general
1. They are too proud of their culture, once someone is convinced they are nothing but the best, everything else doesn seem to make any point of relevance

2. They have a society, and a social circle back home, wherein they have to answer probing questions about their kids. google: nosy indian relatives. This has not only caused problems outside the country but also within the country, when even inter-caste marriages happen. Google: Honor Killings

3. Xenophobia: They genuinely think their kids won’t be happy and their marriages won’t last, if they married inter-racially, because this person from another race doesn’t have anyone common with them to whom he/she is answerable for their bad behavior. It’s important for Indian parents that their children’s marriages sustain, because as parents they invest heavily in us. Even people with contemporary thinking, however humble, are still gonna pay for their children’s education and other expenses, in the periphery it might seem we are over-protected, but it’s also true we are expected to look after our parents when they get old.

4. They believe firmly in children after marriage, in India, the single mother deal, doesn’t cut it, at all. There is no way, this will be allowed, leave the parents aside, I will say this myself, I would never ever want to do that. Not only a kid is called a bastard, a father’s name is of utmost importance in the Indian culture.

5. They don’t trust people outside their sub-caste, so going inter-racial is a big deal.They fear mixing the races, would cause confusion in their future generations.

Additional reasons they are gonna be racist, when their kid brings in someone of African/Hispanic descent
6. Fairness is put on a higher pedestal, google : Fair and Lovely, this is the highest selling skin bleaching cream in India, it is sad but true, a lot of people in India equate beauty with fairness. This is a very ridiculous thing to do, specially when a lot of Indians are dusky themselves, I don’t support it, but this is how it is.

7. Africans/Hispanics are perceived as people who won’t stand by when the going might get tough.

8. There are very few Africans that are Hindus (85% of Indians are Hindus)

9. This is surprising but true, might seem of little relevance too, but the food you eat. A lot of Indians are vegetarians, and almost majority are non beef eaters. Although this is last on the list, but it is one of the things.

As a consolation, you do have a better chance if:
1. You come from a strong family, this means parents not divorced. Big factor. Similar family structure lends a credibility.

2. You have a good career, money doesn’t really drive Indian parents to approve, they just want a secure life for their kids.

3. You can show your respects.

4. If their child really loves you, has a career of their own. Even seemingly conservative parents try and understand their kids.

5. If they can somehow sense, you will be there.

PS: don’t worry about the person you are with, he/she are obviously not racist.

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